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High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff \ Quick Overview

System Overview

Overview

This guy is a dickhead!

The DXZeff Model 1 in power saving mode

Somewhere around the transition from the X generation to the Y generation, somebody decided to build this thing for reasons unknown. The DXZeff Mk.1's design is rather strange, in that nobody really seems quite clear about what it was designed to do and most users report that the interface can be very annoying, as well as the system sounds making them feel depressed or inexplicably scared.

This system does not appear to require external power, lacks a display unit and regularly crashes for reasons unknown. It has also proven to have sub-par floating point performance and will rapidly slow down when subjected to multi-tasking environments.

Strangely, this machine also identifies as a 'High Treason' unit at times, then emits noises that sound like someone complaining about college. The system is generally noisy when operating and will occasionally produce unusual smells, along with smoke.

  

Insert Disk 2...

Smashed Windows

 

High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff / Specs

Quick Specs

Motherboard  

   Spinal Cord
CPU      Unknown. Possibly MC68040
FPU      Not Installed
Cache      Fingers
Main Memory      Pencil & Paper
Host Interfaces  

   Numerous. Proprietary

Video Adapter  

   None

Host Adapter  

   Onboard

Network      Acoustic Coupling
Audio      Vocal Cords
Other Cards      None Installed
Hard Drives      One 9.5" High Density Drive
CD-ROM      None
Floppy      Only when Hard Drive is cold
PSU      Cigarettes, beef, milk, bacon
OS      Proprietary. Possibly a form of ROM BASIC
Special      16 Hour Battery Life - Possibly Lead-Acid
Theme Song  

   Probably anything involving synthesizers

  

Bad Command of File Name

Hosted by AOL Hometown

 

High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff / Benchmarks

System Performance

System Performance

This system failed to complete any benchmarks in a reasonable time frame and complained that it wasn't compatible with any instruction set we attempted to compile them for. The estimated score is low.

  

Cannot divide by Zero

MSCDEX not loaded

 

High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff / Gallery

Pictures

The CPU is overloaded

The system attempts to run a musical program to control another system.

Attempts to produce graphics with the DXZeff Model 1 gained rather poor results. It appears to only be capable of monochrome graphics modes through an external frame buffer.

With its meager framebuffer, the DXZeff unit struggles and renders images very slowly.

 

You can click the above pictures to see full size versions in a new window

  

Stack Overflow

Loading World Domination...

 

High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff / Records

Records Held

System Achievements

DXZeff holds a few records:

  • Most time spent in a crashed state

  • Least computationally powerful in collection

  • Worst level of compatibility

  

Keyboard error, press F1 to continue

Ooh-laa!!!

 

High Treason's Museum - Systems - DXZeff / YouTube

Movies

Videos Available

We wanted to list all of them, but rapidly developed a rather nasty headache.

If you want to torture yourself, go ahead: http://youtube.com/user/hightreason610

  

Requires QuickTime for Windows 95...

Video for Windows v1.1